Due to my age (I was 38 when Joey was conceived), my doctor left in my hands if I wanted to do any specialized/invasive testing (Amniocentesis, Quad Screen, Etc). We decided to go ahead and meet with a specialist to have the testing done so we would know ahead of time what, if anything, we were dealing with.
I had a level 2 ultrasound on December 24, 2008 and there was evidence of a possible chromosomal disorder and/or heart problem. Because I was only 12 weeks pregnant we would have to wait 3 more weeks to do an Amnio (the earliest they can be done is 15 weeks), so the Amnio was scheduled for January 13, 2009.
Since we made the decision to carry to term that meant we would be having ultrasounds monthly to check her growth, as well as her heart and kidney function. My OB was kind enough to agree to let me come every two weeks for a heartbeat check. I would be a wreck for a couple of days before the appointment. Every 2 weeks I would brace myself for the possibility that Joey was gone, and every two weeks I was given the gift of more time. To me her heartbeat sounded like hope. Don't get me wrong for every moment I had that I felt truly blessed to have such a precious gift, I felt cursed that I would have to watch my baby die. I had more than one occasion that I felt I must have done something really wrong for God to punish me in such a way.
Weeks went by and the pregnancy progressed pretty normally, except for developing Gestational Diabetes and that I didn't feel movement until I was about 30 weeks along. It was such a relief to feel her moving, but then there were times when I wouldn't feel much movement and I of course would get scared (only to be reassured by the heartbeat check or the ultrasound).
As we got closer to our due date, we made arrangements with our OB to be induced a week early so our families could be with us for Joey's birth. Not knowing if Joey would make it and if she did not knowing how long she would be with us, we wanted Joey to know as much of her family as possible for whatever time she had. We also had to come up with a birthplan. The birthplan stated how much resuscitation we would allow Joey to have, how long would we allow heroic measures to be applied, and what were our wishes for Joey's remains. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, instead of planning a baby shower, I needed to plan for the death of my baby...I was 3 weeks away from my due date when we were told I had developed Pre-Eclampsia and that we needed to have Joey that day (this was on June 16, 2009). We had a few hours to go home, pack some stuff and notify our families that we were headed to the hospital to have Joey. Most of our families were still in Michigan and it is a 12-14 hour drive from Michigan to Georgia, so all we could do was hope and pray everyone would be there in time to meet and possibly say goodbye to Joey.
I was admitted to the hospital on June 16th and they started the induction at around 9:00 pm. After a few hours on the Pitocin IV, Joey's heart rate started dropping, so they stopped the IV and changed my position. After a few minutes off the IV her heart rate came back up, so they started the IV again. Joey's heart rate dropped again shortly after they started the Pitocin again. At this point our OB told us that he didn't think Joey would make it through another round of Pitocin, so we all agreed that we would do a C-section the following afternoon.
June 17th arrived and they took me back into surgery. Now the fun was going to begin. We had an amazing team of Doctors, Nurses, and Surgical Tech's to make sure Joey's arrival would go as smoothly as possible, but I don't think anyone was prepared for how complicated things were going to be. Apparently, Joey had not descended into the lower half of the uterus like a normal baby would. Because she was up so high, the Doctor had to reach up further to get her. But not only was she up high, she had decided she wasn't coming out without a lot of coercion. The Surgical Tech had to push on my belly to try and move Joey down further, while the Doctor was trying to pull and yank her free. Because of the anesthetic and the meds I was given for nausea, I don't have a great concept of time here, but it felt like it was taking a very long time to get her out. Even though I had an epidural and couldn't feel anything, I could feel immense pressure and pulling sensations in my chest while they were working on freeing Joey (it felt like they were pulling my heart out of my chest). Finally Joey was free and against all odds we heard that first cry. I didn't think I was ever going to get to hear her cry, I was filled with so many emotions at once; elation, fear, relief, and above everything else so much love for her I thought I would burst.
Joey arrived into this world on June 17, 2009 at 3:22pm. She weighed 3lbs 9oz and was 15 1/2" long. As if her arrival wasn't miraculous enough, Joey required nothing more than normal newborn care at birth and even during her stay in the hospital after her birth (more on that in the next post).
Looking back through the pregnancy and delivery I can see God's hand in this though the entire process. I had stated before that there were times that I felt I must have done something really wrong to be punished like this, but that feeling disappeared and was replaced with overwhelming gratitude that I was chosen to be a part of this miracle.
From the moment we received the diagnosis, we have been surrounded by more support, prayers, and love than we could have ever asked or hoped for. Even more astounding was how the support, prayers, and love seemed to multiply when Joey arrived. God has blessed us indeed.
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